So my father-in-law, Mr. The Dark Knight Sr, is a structural engineer. He are real, real smart. Thankfully, he’s seen some of my grandest and most subtle hints of brilliance, (which is fabulous because I love to look intelligent in front of those kinds of people).
Like the time we were eating dinner with him and Honey, and they were all saying smart things and I was chowing on some pineapple.One of those bizarre masticating hiccups occurred after I stabbed a huge piece of pineapple with my fork and tried to bite it in half because it was way too big to fit into my mouth (run-on…..).It slipped off my fork and I COULD NOT get it to sever in two.I hunched over in hopes that it would detach and fall onto my plate.It was not a success.I was trying not to be all grabby with my food, so instead I took advantage of the awesome power of motion.And that didn’t work out for me, so I finally gave up and made use of my phalanges, including my often underutilized opposable thumbs, and I pried it in half. It took quite a bit of effort, and in the end a tiny nugget was all I managed to rip off, leaving me with a gargantuan wad of stringy fruit to somehow process with my mouth closed! I chewed and chewed and chewed and chewed. And as I chewed I glanced casually around the table to check for witnesses.But, that’s ancient history. I’ve changed and grown since then. Yesterday was a good example of that. It didn’t start out great, but it definitely got worse.
The boys were all…And then I had to go into work that night because we’d received a truck-load of furniture and the store looked like this…So I pushed and pulled and hung and stacked and hid things….The store began to look marvelous again. But I was mentally and physically obliterated so I left. I walked to our car, which used to belong to Honey and Mr. The Dark Knight Sr.
I got in and tried to turn the key…I tried everything.But nothing worked! Not a single thing. And I did it all at least 4 times. So I broke down and called Mr. The Dark Knight Sr.And so, late at night, Mr. The Dark Knight Sr had to drive all the way over to my place of business and try to fix my car. He tried the key.He turned the wheel.He messed with the brakes.(I did notice, however, that he failed to push any of the buttons. I’m just sayin…)But then he tried something I didn’t think of.