I am ALL over the place. Literally., Random Thoughts, Too Stupid To Live 
28 Comments Today’s Bad Choices That Turned Me Into The Rock of Love
I’m not sure how to describe my “style”. I don’t really own a lot of clothes. We were forced to leave half of my great stuff on a curb in Johannesburg. Its a long story but we left Africa by the seat of our pants. Or in my case, without my pants.
Thankfully I packed my valuables in the small suitcase. And by valuables, I mean boots. When its not 47 million degrees outside I live in these boots.
I know they look all Goth, but they are called Bond Girls Boots. As in, James Bond……
I bought them 11 years ago when we lived in Chicago and I’ve walked 47 million miles in them since then. I wear them with jeans and skirts and dresses and pink flowery things.
But this summer I got me some cowboy boots. Yeehaw!
These exact ones by Yippee Ki Yay. I can’t even tell you how much fun they are to wear. I wear them with sun-dresses and skinny jeans and WHATEVS. I like to be able to throw anything on and not think about it too much. I think about it when I buy it and then never again. I don’t really care about matching.
Unless I have time. Then I rig my outfits….
But today, all of my past purchases, and immediate, thoughtless choices, converged into one truly frightening arrangement.
First of all, it was laundry day on my floor (every day is laundry day, FYI)
We’d been at the park all morning and it was 500 degrees out so I took a shower during lunch. (Not simultaneously…)
Afterwards we were going to Honey’s house for dinner and I was in a hurry so I threw on a few things. I put on a new killer pair of jeans that are sized long. So they don’t work with my boat shoes (until I wash them and shrink them to death). So I tpulled on my cowboy boots….
And a soft fitted t-shirt.
And my hair was drying all funky so I put my scarf on (like I need an excuse)…
And then I glanced in the mirror.
Aaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What the! On Earth! I can’t even!! Wha!!! No!!!!
Just……..No!
And I changed faster than anyone in history. Now, I’m not knocking Mr. Bret Michaels. Its just that I DON’T WANT TO BE HIS TWIN.
Know what I’m saying?
Oh my gosh, I nearly spit out my wine when I scrolled down and there was the picture of Bret M. That was awesome!
Thanks. Not as awesome for me.
Oh Bettina Michaels, I’m sure you looked fine.
I NEED BOOTS. If you have any suggestions please let me know. Because I wear flip flops or boots, and pretty much nothing else. And my boots DIED. And I don’t have time to look for boots, hate looking for boots, and just can’t bear any of it. They have to be non-leather, narrow calved, and, you know, awesome.
I will pay one million dollars for a good pair of boots.
If only John Fluvog worked with non-leather. You should look and see if he does. His boots are THE boots. (and narrow calved)
That is exactly how Munch was inspired to paint The Scream.
And don’t knock knocking Bret Michaels. It’s fun!
It IS fun, isn’t it? I just have to double-check that I don’t look like his stunt-double.
Thanks! Now I have to clean the coffee off my computer screen.
How do you think I felt? I’ll tell you how. Like a wannabe rock of love star.
Thanks for the laugh in the midst of all-hell-breaking-loose-and-everybody-losing-their-marbles. I feel a touch better now.
Bret Michaels always brings levity to the table.
Haha!
That’s the first thing you would have said in your head had I been knocking at your door…..although you’ve seen me in worse.
LOL’ed when I got to the Bret Michaels pic- too funny
I wish I could have found a boots-visible shot but no such luck. Actually I just didnt want to have to look that hard.
hahaha. i almost choked.
Me too!
Bahaha! Thank god you looked in the mirror. I think we’ve all had those days where you throw on random items and all of a sudden you don’t even look like you, despite the fact that they’re all your clothes. Makes you question what you own?
-Woops, I’m a hippy today.
-Apparently I have the items it takes to join the circus, who knew?
-Goth?! Oh good lord what have I done?
I hate the mirror….
And yet I can’t live without it.
just funny.
And stupid….
You killed with the Munch., but are you sure those boots couldn’t save any outfit? Ellen
ALMOST!
Heehee!
I love boots too, in particular my cowboy boots. But my tall black boots kicked the bucket, and so I ordered what I perceived to be a totally badass pair online. Even my husband, who usually has no opinion on women’s shoes, looked at the pic and said they rocked.
They showed up yesterday. And, they make me look like a streetwalker. For some reason I thought they came to the knee, but no, they are over the knee boots. Some girls can pull off that look just fine, but I’m short, so it pretty much looked like the boots were eating my legs.
Oh such a bummer! I hate mailing things back.
Awesome. That’s hilarious. I wish I could have seen a real pic of you next to him. That’s okay, I’m sure my imagination is much worse than reality. LOL.
Nice.
Maybe I should post a picture….
boots are almost always appropriate; Bret Michaels never. So there’s that. Boots. Cowboy boots…my favorite amazing pair of cowboy boots gave up the absolute last ghost (stitched, re-stitched, soled & re-soled) just before we moved to Abu Dhabi and I’ve not yet replaced them b/c really, the one place that boots are NOT appropriate? is when it’s 120 in the shade with 98 percent humidity. Okay. Maybe it’s only 90%, but still. Yes, I know they wear boots in Houston. This in and of itself does not recommend the practice to me.
I had the exact same customer on Saturday. Except it wasn’t a chick with a dog, it was a dude with stale beer breath. And he didn’t just shout at me and call me the b-word, he also flung my front door open so hard that it left a ding in the wood behind the door. So yeah, I get it.
Also, your son is awesomesauce. Totally.