So, a few weeks ago I was checking my email and suddenly I saw this…
I felt so… violated.
Of course I immediately sent them a strongly worded email.
“Hi someone has registered on your site using my email address would you pretty please remove it thank you sorry?”
But everyday I get the latest list of single guys in Connecticut between the ages of 20 and 30.
And being the 38-year-old Texan that I am, it feels so wrong to be getting these updates. And they come with PICTURES!
Of COURSE I looked at that first email. And I was deeply deeply sorrowful for all single women in Connecticut between the ages of 20 and 30. At least the ones on Match.com.
All the stereotypes are represented. And their usernames KILLED ME!!!!
Who has not snatched this guy up!!!!
Hello Wild Thing…..
But this guy? He is ALL OVER THE PLACE. In at least 1000 different forms.
But I can imagine that after putting their best picture up there (2 years ago), they’ve let themselves go a little. And now they surf Match.com and miss the taste of that last twinkie….
But then they find the woman of their dreams….
And they “wink” at her.
And she’s all…
Which just goes to show you that there is someone out there for almost everyone.
But it got me to thinking about what on earth I would do if (heaven forbid) anything ever happened to The Dark Knight. How on earth would I accurately represent myself now that I have totally grown into the person that I am??
I could never get away with laying it all out there.
I am way too gone for the dazzling sanity that is Match.com.
Thank God I married young.
Only now I’m stuck with their email spam.