I Drive Home From Work and Take a Detour Through Nirvana

And not the band.

I understand that they were the “pioneers of grunge” and whatever, and YES I have written a post about Kurt Cobain (here), but I was never a huge fan.

Music either does it for me or it doesn’t.  And if it really, REALLY doesn’t, then I can’t  tolerate the sound entering my aural tract. I’d rather listen to the grinding and gnashing of teeth. Which is basically what I hear anyway….

Anyway, last night I left work pretty late.  I haven’t been sleeping well and my appetite is a little off this week, so by 10:30 last night, I was beside myself.  Tired.  Loopy.

I got in the car to drive home and all the streets were empty.  I had my windows rolled down when I got on the highway and man it felt good.

cruisin

 

 

It started giving me the happys.

fluffy windy

 

 

I decided to let my hair down…

pulling my hair

 

 

Holy cow it felt so good.

fluffy fluffy hair

 

 

Although if we’re talking “reality” here, I was looking fairly nappy after an intense day.

reality

 

 

But my serotonin levels were rising.  I could tell.

Then…

Suddenly….

my song

 

I heard a familiar noise…..

I could NOT believe my ears!

It was one of those songs that I LOVE but that they NEVER play on the radio!

NO.WAY.

 

 

What are the odds?!?!?!?!?

I can’t even tell you!!!!!

And then, i was hit with a serotonin blast so huge that I almost lost my tiny little mind!

standing on top of the world

 

And all the way home, the wind blew my enormous wad of hair, and I blasted that song and tried to decide if I had enough gas to drive around the world at least one time and listen to that song over and over and over and over!

shazaam

 

And, well…. that was fun.

I do the Introspecting

Like I’ve mentioned recently, I’ve been going through a depression of sorts.  Like over the last 2 years.  Its a lot of things.  Stress.  Hormones.  Change.

It comes in waves.  Monthly ones…

I’ve been trying to decide if its mostly chemical or if there are situational issues (yes that’s a word Spellcheck!).

Oh wait, maybe its circumstantial.

Yes, yes it is.  I’m sorry spellcheck.  Forgivsies?

 

Although I tend to keep to myself, I really am a social person in that I like a few good friends.  People DO actually interest me.

people i like

 

 

But then there is always the “saying things out-loud” aspect of it….

lets play

 

Spellcheck, you are absolutely no help in this area.  I’m not sure this relationship is going to work out….

 

I’ve thought a lot about my mothering doubts.  Does anyone else ever feel like the worst mother on the planet?  I’ve wanted kids for a long long long time.  And now that they are here, I would die a million deaths for them.  But does that mean I want to be with them 24/7? No.  It does not.

hiding in the bathroom

Am I a bad mother? ….Spellcheck?

Sometimes I find myself strongly desiring things i cannot have…

apocalypse

 

 

Is the depression a contentment issue? I don’t think so.

 

But I went to a counselor a couple of weeks ago just to give it a try.  She was a very sweet woman but too practical for my illogical mind.  She liked to “boil things down to the basics”.

happy thoughts

 

 

I’m not about the basics.  I’m about the intricacies.

The basics are funny to me….

boiled down

 

 

But really, I’m doing ok.  Working out.  Taking some meds.  Thinking happy thoughts.

apocalypse

 

 

Throwing myself into my daily activities.

Like taking my offspring to the park….

me and spaz

 

…and the dollar store…..

dollar store

apocalypse

 

 

Taking “selfies” with my phone…

selfie

 

Attacking projects with intense fervor…

throwing myself into things

 

 

Have I told you about my headbands?

I occasionally design for a company called Johnny Loves Rosie.  The owner had her business in London for years and now things are happening in the States.  I am designing for her.  Here are a few I did for last fall…

rag

 

Cute no?

knot

 

Anybody want to sell these in their boutiques?  This fall will be very cool.

Something to be excited about.  apocalypse

That helps…..

May 14, 2013 - Too Stupid To Live    15 Comments

Social Media That Involves a Camera For My Face

I haven’t had much time to blog lately.  I’ve been too busy taking pictures of my face.  I take other pictures, too.  Actually, most of my pictures are of the boys.  But now that I have an iPhone 5 (with the little “turn the camera around so its facing me” option), I am in WAY TOO MANY pictures.  Instagram is my downfall.

gorgeous

Because it takes all these mediocre shots of me and turns them into Glamour Shots and then I post them as if that’s the way I really look and then when people see me in person they are horribly disappointed. And then even worse are the pictures I let Siegfried take of me in my jammies with zero makeup.

no makeyup

 

And I look at them and cringe but then I figure that in 20 years I’ll be wishing I looked like 38-year-old me with no makeup and very little sleep.  And so I post the pictures anyway.

But most of the time its just inane shots.

Walking with the stick.

walking

 

Opening a letter from my mama with 5 DOLLARS IN IT!

5 dolla

 

Actually I was totally stoked about that 5 bucks.  I never have cash (umm…because I never purchase things…), so I had that 5 dollars and I couldn’t even decide what kind of candy I was going to buy with it.

Instead, I opened up another “photography” app on my phone and recorded myself drawing this….

 

But most of my stuff looks like this…

 

Or this….

 

OOps, I hit publish..

Hang on there’s more excitement!!!!!!!!!!

Also I did this on Saturday.

finished

 

Which you already know if you follow me on one of my 47 million social platforms.

I did some painting on a friend’s wall.  I don’t do much wall painting anymore but I would paint any old thing Katy asked me to! And this was interesting.

I taped off the wall…

moron

 

And then taped it off some more….

Idiot

 

 

wate a minnit

 

And then PAINTY PAINTY…

there we go

 

 

So lots of painting and taping and stripping (the tape) and more painting and more taping and more stripping (the tape)….

paintypainty

 

It took me approx 47 million hours. (13).

Guest Post By Siegfried

My Day. By Siggy

I wake up so nicely and happy with no yellings or screaming from my bed for that mommy to come here right this instant.

mormimg

*editors note- lots of yelling and screaming

 

I wait goodly with no further yellings or screamings for that mommy to come got me.

stompy mommy

 

 

Mommy is angry for no reasons at all whatsoever.

why she mad

editor’s note- she has the reasons

 

mommt says no

 

 

Her doesn’t make sense to me but I am goodly and only take one swing.

 

I always am asking nicely for the food and the juice and the cupcakes and candy and crackers and I only aks nine or ten times in a row and still that mommy gets hers panties in a wad.

pleading for food

editor’s note- Empty containers get thrown at my head

 

hell mommy

 

 

And sometimes her likes my booty-sounds…

being good

 

the frp

 

why

 

mommy loves me

editor’s note- LIES

 

 

and sometime her get so mad….

suspense

 

generous gift

 

yelly mommy

 

 

Her also are so weird with her coffee….

coffee mommy

editor’s note- ok fine

 

an after lunch her is weird…

resting eyes

 

 

and her do weird things in the kitchen…

mommy cleans

editors note- No Comment

 

lovey

 

Her just crazy.

 

This is Just a Statement (not a real post)

This WAS going to be a real post.  About my house.  My tiny, messy, unorganized, colorful house.

mess hall

 

But then my offspring decided it was about time to drive me to drink.  So instead I lost my stylus and ripped all my hair out.

And from here on out, everything will be finger-drawn.

idiot

 

I eventually calmed down and invited myself over to Phone-a-friend’s house to meet her new dog.

She was all…

phone a friend

 

and I was all…

pfft

 

Which translated mean, “Girlfrand, you aint never even SEEN a mess!”

And so we went over there and it was just as I expected.

dump

 

 

You see, there were no WARDROBES OF CLOTHING scattered about her living room.  There were no socks in her kitchen.  There was no paint in her carpet.  Her air smelled of cinnamon.

My house, for most of the day, is a Good Will.  Just a big pile of everything.  Its not that we have TONS of stuff, its that our space is minuscule and we DO tons of stuff.  And when I say “we”, I mean “me”.  All my crap is everywhere. And to add insult to injury, we all have bad habits.  I CANNOT close a door to save my life.  Hang on I’ll take a picture of the kitchen as it is RIGHT NOW….

sixth sense cabinets

 

 

I’m a psycho!  If I ever own a house I’m taking all the doors off the cabinets because I can’t tell you how many times the corner of one of them gets planted in my head.

Still, I never learn.

freaking idiot

 

 

And Boy’s new thing is to go around and throw every available roll of toilet paper in every available toilet.

paper de john

 

I can’t keep up with any of us…..

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