My Dog is a Moron

Or maybe I’m still a bit touchy these days.  But it seems to me that every breathing thing on earth is doing its best to get on my last nerve.  I was trying to feed the kids last week, as AS USUAL, Wumpy decides that this is a good time to rummage around in the kitchen. The minute I step out, he starts sniffing around.Mind you we’ve had the ridiculous animal for over 7 years and he’s never had anything but a cushy, non-threatening existence.I’m not sure what he thinks I’m going to do to him in the kitchen that I wouldn’t do anywhere else in the house. But apparently he fears for his life.And our routine doesn’t really change. I do the same thing every day at lunch….…which is walk in and out of the kitchen about 47 million times.And even though the reality around him never changes, the inaccurate reality in his mind doesn’t either. He NEVER learns.

So we decided to go out of town this weekend.  We all needed a little break.

We don’t do “vacations”.  Really.  Never.  We just move.  But we all needed to get out and a friend’s house opened up at the coast, so we went. Spur of the moment.  I decided that I would really work at chilling out.  In my mind.  I’m always a fairly relaxed person, so maybe “chilling” isn’t the right word to describe something I had to work at.It was more a “temporary nerves” thing. I was going to let the little things roll off my back. Ignore all the noises that were aimed at getting me all worked up.But man I was hoping to get away from the repetition of daily life.Oh well. You win some you lose some.Marbles, that is.There are kids in Africa who don’t even have MOMMIES!  Stop belly-aching about your “WERM!” (and the Mommy-less thing is a BAD thing, just in case you are wondering, 3-year-old!)

But then, we got to the coast and suddenly things seemed just fine.  The house we were in is my favorite kind of house in that there is mystery in it.Seashells and chandeliers and old old furniture from Europe.Even Wumpus enjoyed himself, although he had moments of fearful expressions….But we were RIGHT on the water and it was quiet.And cozy….And the weather was PERFECT!!moron…..

26 Comments

  • In a house like that, I’d be afraid an old sea Cap’n would barge in, right in the middle of the night, reeking of rum and start singing sea shanties.

    • Oh, you know my husband then?

      • lol…

  • Incredibly wonderful post! Loved the variety and the humanity of it! (if you can say that lol)… The first set of illustrations about your dog in the kitchen were great – had to laugh a lot! Then I loved the car drive and your freak-out … it was so very human… but the very best was the calm at the end. Lol… I’m weird this way – but it made my eyes tear up! Such a lovely family – Thanks for sharing!

    Do you have any books out? Or are you considering writing/illustrating something? Your talent is remarkable.

    • Thank you for the best compliment ever! I’ve been blogging since 2007 but this is my first stab at illustrating. I never considered it before because I was under the impression that my art had to be perfect. Then I realized it didn’t and man am I having fun now!

  • Bahaha! Poor Wumpy. Poor Mom.

    • I love that stupid dog.

      • I like to party, not look artilces up online. You made it happen.

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      • Oh, that’s an Old School Trebuchet. Everybody knows a floating arm trebuchet can out hurl a fixed on and is more materials effecient!!!I’ll try to have mine up and working again for next years Harvest festival.

      • It’s wonderful to have you on our side, haha!

    • Ppl like you get all the brnasi. I just get to say thanks for he answer.

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  • That place amazes me every time I see the pictures. Wow. Also, I love that you censored the indecent dog picture. Ha ha! Thank you!

    • Wumpy always has his publics exposed. Such a Neanderthal.

  • Heh… I had to laugh at the car ride; I’ve had that exact same car ride. Right down to the worm. What the FREAKING HELL is your “WORM” and WHY would *I* HAVE IT?!
    It’s a lot funnier when illustrated with charming stick people than it is when it’s happening in your car.

    • And from what I’ve heard, I’d doesn’t get any better with age. At least they can’t reach each other at this point.

  • The censor strip was the best!

    • I wish it was present in real life

  • Ummm your art is perfect! lol…. Ok, I’m no artist myself to be a proper judge – but I’m really amazed with your talent. Maybe after you have enough of these posts – you could bring them together in a book. I really think it would work!

    And of course you’re welcome.

  • I appreciate the black box on the dog. No one wants to see that.

    I need friends that live on the coast and will let me use their house. Sounds great.

    • It WAS great! We felt so lucky to be there.

  • Well, hopefully after that vacation Wumpy will be able to chill out and actually eat his food in your company, tho’ it’s probably an evolutionary “FEAR THE ALPHA WOLF!” kind of thing.

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