So,  half the time when I blog about something personal, I worry that no one will be able to relate and the whole universe will think I’m completely nuts.

But then I think of eminem who is apparently this big bad macho rapper and he raps about Christina Aguilara.  And Dr. Dre, who’s all old school is like, “Yo, why is this dude rapping about Christina Aguilara  instead of how much money he got?”

But then the entire rapping community agreed with Dr. Dre when he came to the conclusion ….

And after taking in the fact that Christina Aguilara is part of eminem’s world, I don’t feel so weird about sharing my 5-Levels-Of-Painting-Mania.

I decided to do a portrait.

I’m not sure why.  Those things happen to me when I’m zoning out.

I AM zoning out, but I am somewhere in particular.

In fact, I’ll do this for DAYS.

…..without really saying a recognizable word about it…..

That, my friends, is Level 1 of the Happy.

And then its like my entire upper body will explode if I don’t get a canvas right this minute and start painting RIGHT THIS VERY MINUTE!!!!

I can think of nothing else but STARTING THIS PAINTING AND WHY CAN’T I FINISH IT IN 24 HOURS?!?!?!?!?!?!

I love my painting at this stage.  Love it! Obsess over it.

And there you have Level 2 of the Happy.

Level 3 is when I realize I HAAAAAAAAATE IIIIIIIIITTTTTTT!!!!

It creeps up on me.

I wish I could say its a mild, general funk concerning the progress thus far….

But its more like Psycho fire-starter crazy hate.

People that I love need to run for their lives.

Because I’m about to BREATH THE FIERY BREATH OF HADES!!!!!

And, then, something changes and I get past the hump.

This is Level 4 of Happy.

Its exhausting really.

And finally, Level 5 of the Happy is FINISHING!  I can’t even draw that level, much less paint it.

And now I’m about to do something that I HATE.  I can’t stand for people to see a work in progress.  They question it.  They ask why?  And what?

But with this painting I’m going to do it.

First let me say that I’ve never really tried a good portrait with acrylics and you might as well paint with water in the scorching hot sun because this stuff dries at the speed of light and DOES NOT BLEND!

Anyway, here I show you the stages of my UNFINISHED painting and the sub-levels of the happy.

I got the background done and the base colors for the body and head.

Then I started filling in the face.

I was using several photos of Cathy’s daughter, Cassidy, as a model.

But then….I finished the face and started on the hair.

And blaaaaaaarrrrrrg! 

Don’t look at it!

Ok look but don’t freak out and judge!

Hi, I’m Heather and I”m in 7th grade and I won 3rd place at the fair!

I almost jumped off the roof at this point.

Instead I painted over her entire head and started over….

And then I finished the face.  AGAIN!

And now, if I can somehow recharge my brain, I will finish the painting with this face intact.

It is so exhausting being in the same room with myself.