May 10, 2012 - Poop and/or Barf    24 Comments

I married my husband because he makes people vomit

Siegfried has QUITE the gag-reflex.  That boy can do some serious kacking.

The other day The Dark Knight was pretending the barf up one of Siegfried’s bouncy balls.  The 3-year-old thought it was hi-larious.

(PS- if any of you are wondering why my husband’s head is a dry-erase board, look here)

 

….until it wasn’t…..

 

Poor little unsuspecting boy.  The Dark Knight got to clean up that pile.  And I was all, He gets that from YOU, you know!

I fell in love with The Dark Knight because his gag-reflex just melted my heart.  When we met, he was in college (I had already done my 52 days and was SO over it….).

One day he was hanging out in a food court/cafeteria inside one of the major university buildings.  He and a couple of friends were eating pizza and talking “band-nerd”.

 

…when The Dark Knight busted out a wicked humor-ism….

(I WISH I could remember what it was!)

….and suddenly Willard started thinking it was totally hi-larious…..

 

…and then he REALLY started going to town…..

 

…and then suddenly he was all….

 

The Dark Knight said it was like 10 liters of big-red came out of his face over and over and over again.

 

His friend Skylar thought it was a riot and continued chowing on the pizza  but The Dark Knight was not entertained.

 

He made a run for it.

 

….dry-heaving the ENTIRE way.

 

He burst through the cafeteria doors and into the hallway, and proceeded to double over and dry-heave his little smarty-pants heart out.

 

And he is a VIOLENT heaver. Its loud.

 

And he busts blood vessels.  He makes the nasty noises.  Like the burp plus the blehhhhh!!!!

 

And this went on and on and on and on.  He just couldn’t shake the vision.

 

Unfortunately he was standing in the center of the commons and people were changing classes.  And there were dorms above. Frat dorms.  

 

Of course, he is officially The Dark Knight PhD now, so he would never do something that uncouth these days.

(Unless he’s changing a dirty diaper. shhh!)

24 Comments

  • I’ve never, ever had the heaves in reaction to anything (other than uber-drinking in college). Until the infamous Full Glossy episode. That got me going.

    But I know people who do gak easily, and I find it quite hilarious.

    • It IS hilarious! Unless its me……
      I don’t gag easily even though I did as a kid. Now I just know when to not look.

      • I am the opposite of Dogs. It’s so involuntary and it makes me love thee Dark Knight. – I puke all the time, over anything. I feel like I have to constantly pick up poop and puke from animals and

        omg I’m going to gag right now. I’m done talking about it. I’m a puker.

  • My wife could change a thousand newborn baby diapers with all of its mustard color glory; but give her even the thought of a pile of regurgitated food and she can’t keep herself from trying to add to it.

    • Oh that is so funny!! It’s a curse! I’d totally be up a creek if I was a gagger.

  • Oh, Heather! It’s much too early to make me laugh this hard!!!!!!!

    • You can thank The Dark Knight for that.

  • This story cracks me up EVERYTIME I hear it! Makes me hurt from laughing so hard! Thanks!

    • It is definitely a Classic.

  • Ugh, I used to have this same problem in a big way – and although it’s much better now… I still gag pretty easily. When I was a teenager I had to imagine pretty hills with flowers, sun shining down on it and a fresh wind to keep from gagging when I brushed my teeth.

    Since brushing my teeth was a problem – I’m sure you can imagine how it was impossible for me to deal with anything even slightly gross. It took me forever to be able to clean my toilet lol

    • I’ve been trying to reply to this comment all day! So funny! My heart goes out to gagging women! I had to laugh picturing you attempting to distract yourself from tooth-brushing. That’s a curse!

      • Yep lol… but you know, even though I gag easily I don’t actually vomit very often. My longest stretch, without vomiting, has been 13 years.

  • I’m sitting here laughing with tears streaming down my cheeks and my wife asks, “Is it Violet*?”

    *insert real name here.

    • That’s hilarious, Keith! I’m glad you enjoyed The Datk Knight’s dry heaves as much as the rest of the student population did.

  • I’ve been lucky thus far and have not gagged or barfed from anyone else’s puke.

    Wait. That just means I have to clean it up, so maybe I’ve been UNLUCKY.

    • I’d rather be the cleaner than the doer! We’re LUCKY!

  • hahahaha. Once in an Italian restaurant my husband had the same response when he looked up at a picture. The picture was of a baby sitting with a bowl of spaghetti dumped on top of its head, meatball in lap, and my husband took off. He said the picture to him was not cute or funny – it was disturbing, looked like it was suffering…hahahahaha

    • That! Is! Hilarious! I would have never believed some men reacted that way to baby mess had I not seen a reel of it on America’s Funniest Home Videos.
      Priceless

  • Wait, where are you in this story? In the hall watching him dry heave? Surely there is a part two to this, right?

    I cannot watch people yak. No way, I’ll run like the wind if I even think someone’s gonna puke. I can’t watch it in movies or television either. You know how people watch scary movies covering their face with their hands, and watching through finger slits? I do that if I think someone on the screen is going to vomit.

    • Part two is him coming over to my house later that night and recalling the events of his day, and trying, almost unsuccessfully, to tell me why all the blood vessels around his eyes were broken. That was when I knew he was meant to be my husband.
      Yeah, I can’t watch Movie Vomit either. But I’d rather watch somebody puke than spit a loogy….lougy….lugie? Ack. Just trying to spell it is making me feel a little iffy.

  • I can’t say that i can remember having the dry heaves from seeing something so nasty that you would want to chuck. I have however had self inflicted, dry heaves after a night of drunken debdebauchery. Not entirely pleasant…….the second tine either. :)

  • #1 I stumbled upon you blog and have laughed out loud to every single post.
    #2 This post sent me into a wheezing fit I was laughing SO hard.
    #3 I absolutely hate throwing up. I involuntarily start crying because I hate it so much. But… I had to pull over on the side of the road one day because I just had no choice. A car drove by ‘right’ while I was tossing up whatever needed out of my body. Then they immediately pulled over and did the same thing. I almost peed my pants from laughing so hard. I felt a tiny bit guilty, but mostly not – afterall, its hard to keep throwing up when you are laughing at someone else doing it!

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