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Prizes for ME!!!!

So I had this spectacular blog in my head and then I drove all the way across town to Cathy’s house to upload it (because we don’t have internet yet) and now its like 10:45 and apparently my brian…..I’m not going to fix that typo……my BRAIN turns off at 10:30.

Anyway, thanks to another blogger, I have been passed the Leibster Award.  Its a bloggers award given from one blogger to another.  Brett the Blogger says Leibster is German for “Favorite” or “dearest”.  His blog is called the Transformed Non-Conformist and there are many things I really appreciate about his writing.  It is thoughtful.  Hilarious.  Interesting.  Consistent. And I can recommend his blog to my mother and not be afraid. Go read!My job now is to choose five blogs that I love to read and pass the award along.  The stipulation is that they have to have fewer 200 official followers. I’m fairly new at this and haven’t explored the blog world like I’d like to.  My “Google Reader” is full, but apparently I’ve fallen in with the mainstream and I like the same blogs that thousands of others do.  But still, I’ve had to whittle down my finalists.  And here they are.  Bloggers, I bestow upon you this prestigious award.  Please keep your acceptance speech under 34 seconds…..

First, is The Painted House.  This is one of the first blogs I ever glommed onto.  (…glom…..is it a word?).  Angela, the lady of the House, is an artist and a mother and a business woman and a vegan and a supermodel.  She is fun to read and fun to watch. Hmmmm. She might be over the follower limit but its not OBVIOUS so I’m going with it anyway.Next we have Clay Baboons.  I am so fascinated by other people’s creativity.  This blog is a perfect example of brilliant storytelling via CLAY and a CAMERA!  I! Love! It!This next blog I’ve just tapped into and I am so excited to keep reading and reading and reading! Random. Brilliant.  Fascinating! Please please go and see for yourself.  Fifteen Feet: The Level of Decompression. One of my favorite blog posts of all time in on this blog!Next is one of my good friends, Amanda. I met her over a decade ago in Chicago and she continues to be one of the greatest thinkers I know.  I would read just about anything she writes.  ANYTHING.  Right now she runs marathons.  And so she writes.  I really do want her to write MORE.With this last one I’m totally breaking the rules of the game. And I don’t care. I’m just going for it!  I read so many blogs that are so great, but hey, if I wouldn’t pass them along to my mother for suggested reading then I won’t put them here.  Because my mother reads this blog.  And I refuse to subject her to miscreants and their “warehouse language”.  But this award is for you.  You talented potty-mouthed bloggers.  You know who you are. (Don’t worry Mama, I don’t read the bad words.  I scream “BLEEP!” at the top of my lungs as I’m skimming over them.  So…I can’t read them after the kids go down.  Or when they’re awake.)We’re moved, by the way.  But no internet.  Stay tuned, though, for my first appearance on MTV Cribs.  I’ll be wearing my eminem face.Does MTV Cribs still exist?  Anyone?

That sounded so much better in my head….

I’m always torn when choosing which Walgreens I visit.  There are 3 in our vicinity.  One is very close and the other two are….not.  The convenient Walgreens’, unfortunately, posses one minor deterrent that the other two…..don’t.

Walgreens Guy

He’s about 35 and upon first glace he appears mostly normal (except for the staring, which proceeds past the line of comfort). You can tell he was pretty buff about 300 twinkies ago.

But two things set him apart from everyone else in the store (and miles around).

1. He doesn’t fit into the stereotypical Walgreens employee-slot.  He’s not YOUNG-young.And he’s not OLD-old.And 2.  Walgreens Guy doesn’t ever shut his pie-hole.  And everything that comes out of his mouth sounds like a horrendously loud announcement on the Price Is Right.I don’t even have room to draw the loudness. Or the used-car-salesman cheese.

Or the “professionalism” that basically evaporates when a customer is begging to be impressed.
And if he gets a little over-worked, or ever-excited, things get all cray. A line of people are like Ritalin to him. And heaven forbid the customers begin interacting with him.  His declarations escalate dramatically into manic, frenzied outbursts.And by the time the last person in line leaves, Walgreens Guy can barely hold back the spontaneous combustion.And then there’s me. I prefer not to speak, you know, ever.  Lighthearted banter just about drives me to drink.  He knows this now.  And though I approach the counter consumed with my own thoughts….…he still gives it a go (albeit, wearing his most serious and professional face).I recently visited Walgreens with my sister-in-law, Cris. It seems I failed to instruct her on the rules for Walgreen’s Guy interaction. And unfortunately for her, she is very attractive. And fortunately for him, she doesn’t mind the speaking.Maybe I’m just weird…..Thankfully she’s pretty bright and it only took her two of his sentences to regret having made eye-contact in the first place.I mean, what do you say to statements like that when ..

1. You Don’t want to know.

and 2. You are too scared for your life to be impolite?

So Cris said….And immediately all her internal organs contracted in on themselves.And we both panicked on the inside.All Walgreens Guy lost his marbles.

 

 

A toddler who wont punch you in the neck.

So this morning I took candy away from my baby. Boy found a piece of Laffy Taffy on the floor and was trying to cram it in his face.Where does he learn that kind of nonsense?I sat down next to him and took it away gently.  Anger arose in his little baby heart.And he acted on that anger almost immediately.We have these daily hourly outbursts of selfishness and disobedience.And it being Christmas and all, I began wondering about the most righteous kid EVER. And I don’t just mean “righteous”.I also mean….Or more accurately…And I BET that after the first time Mary had to tell Jesus not to shred the toilet paper, he never did it again! (Not to say he wasn’t tempted….)I wonder if there was no open defiance.

TRANSLATION

I have to think that his terrible two’s were a big, non-terrible piece of cake. 

TRANSLATION

And to think that Jesus even had siblings.  Siblings that he most likely didn’t punch in the neck.

TRANSLATION

Not to say his siblings didn’t occasionally have reason to glare…..

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But what I find so fascinating is that this perfect child grew into a perfect teenager and a perfect adult.  And then he willingly died for us to save us from our angry, selfish, nasty little hearts.

 

Righteous!

 

 

In the event that I win an Oscar….

I’d like to be prepared to illustrate it correctly.  My old drawing stylus was chunky and flimsy and Seigfried kept sticking it up his nose and smearing fluids all over the screen.  I “settled’ when I bought it, anyway.  So tonight I spotted my dream stylus at Home Depot. No wait, whats that other big obnoxious place…..Best Buy! That’s it.  And I brought it home and did a trial drawing for my inevitable academy award night.Which is better than the one I did with my old stylus.So there you have a glimpse of the art you COULD be viewing, if only I weren’t so lazy.  But at least now I can do more detailed drawing in the event of an Oscar nod. Its best to be fully prepared.