Like I’ve mentioned recently, I’ve been going through a depression of sorts.  Like over the last 2 years.  Its a lot of things.  Stress.  Hormones.  Change.

It comes in waves.  Monthly ones…

I’ve been trying to decide if its mostly chemical or if there are situational issues (yes that’s a word Spellcheck!).

Oh wait, maybe its circumstantial.

Yes, yes it is.  I’m sorry spellcheck.  Forgivsies?

Although I tend to keep to myself, I really am a social person in that I like a few good friends.  People DO actually interest me.

But then there is always the “saying things out-loud” aspect of it….

Spellcheck, you are absolutely no help in this area.  I’m not sure this relationship is going to work out….

I’ve thought a lot about my mothering doubts.  Does anyone else ever feel like the worst mother on the planet?  I’ve wanted kids for a long long long time.  And now that they are here, I would die a million deaths for them.  But does that mean I want to be with them 24/7? No.  It does not.

Am I a bad mother? ….Spellcheck?

Sometimes I find myself strongly desiring things i cannot have…

Is the depression a contentment issue? I don’t think so.

But I went to a counselor a couple of weeks ago just to give it a try.  She was a very sweet woman but too practical for my illogical mind.  She liked to “boil things down to the basics”.

I’m not about the basics.  I’m about the intricacies.

The basics are funny to me….

But really, I’m doing ok.  Working out.  Taking some meds.  Thinking happy thoughts.

Throwing myself into my daily activities.

Like taking my offspring to the park….

…and the dollar store…..

Taking “selfies” with my phone…

Attacking projects with intense fervor…

Have I told you about my headbands?

I occasionally design for a company called Johnny Loves Rosie.  The owner had her business in London for years and now things are happening in the States.  I am designing for her.  Here are a few I did for last fall…

Cute no?

Anybody want to sell these in their boutiques?  This fall will be very cool.

Something to be excited about.  

That helps…..

My Day. By Siggy

I wake up so nicely and happy with no yellings or screaming from my bed for that mommy to come here right this instant.

*editors note- lots of yelling and screaming

I wait goodly with no further yellings or screamings for that mommy to come got me.

Mommy is angry for no reasons at all whatsoever.

editor’s note- she has the reasons

Her doesn’t make sense to me but I am goodly and only take one swing.

I always am asking nicely for the food and the juice and the cupcakes and candy and crackers and I only aks nine or ten times in a row and still that mommy gets hers panties in a wad.

editor’s note- Empty containers get thrown at my head

And sometimes her likes my booty-sounds…

editor’s note- LIES

and sometime her get so mad….

Her also are so weird with her coffee….

editor’s note- ok fine

an after lunch her is weird…

and her do weird things in the kitchen…

editors note- No Comment

Her just crazy.

This WAS going to be a real post.  About my house.  My tiny, messy, unorganized, colorful house.

But then my offspring decided it was about time to drive me to drink.  So instead I lost my stylus and ripped all my hair out.

And from here on out, everything will be finger-drawn.

I eventually calmed down and invited myself over to Phone-a-friend’s house to meet her new dog.

She was all…

and I was all…

Which translated mean, “Girlfrand, you aint never even SEEN a mess!”

And so we went over there and it was just as I expected.

You see, there were no WARDROBES OF CLOTHING scattered about her living room.  There were no socks in her kitchen.  There was no paint in her carpet.  Her air smelled of cinnamon.

My house, for most of the day, is a Good Will.  Just a big pile of everything.  Its not that we have TONS of stuff, its that our space is minuscule and we DO tons of stuff.  And when I say “we”, I mean “me”.  All my crap is everywhere. And to add insult to injury, we all have bad habits.  I CANNOT close a door to save my life.  Hang on I’ll take a picture of the kitchen as it is RIGHT NOW….

I’m a psycho!  If I ever own a house I’m taking all the doors off the cabinets because I can’t tell you how many times the corner of one of them gets planted in my head.

Still, I never learn.

And Boy’s new thing is to go around and throw every available roll of toilet paper in every available toilet.

I can’t keep up with any of us…..

I just felt like vomiting some nonsense into the universe.

You’d think with all this time at home, I’d be producing some real gems on here.

Sorry.

Today was like any other day around here.

Constant bathroom announcements.

…constant…..

Like, I can’t complete one task without an eruption of one sort or another.

Sometimes I cry alone at night.

So I’ve been trying to think some o’ them happy thoughts….

Thoughts that calm me down….

Thoughts that get me going….

Hopefully we will all survive the toddler apocalypse in my house.

And we do!

….mostly.

In artsy news, I’m finishing up The Rhino Lisa (officially named by frequent commentor, thescousewife).

This might be one of my most favorite paintings.

Just need to finish the background and Lisa’s blankie.

Speaking of happy thoughts, Cathy texted me and said, “Wouldn’t it be fun to get a cute little trailer and travel to all the little Texas art/antique shows to peddle your wares?”

And I was all….

And now I can hardly think of anything else.  I found a few pics that I loved.  Can’t you see me selling my weirdness out of one of these?

Anybody have one in their barn that they don’t want???

Aside from the fact that I hide from people, what IS IT that drives the friendlys away?  Is it the size of my feet?

The other day I decided to keep a close eye on myself to see what it is that I do that’s…. wrong.

I couldn’t find anything out of the ordinary.

I’ve seen some ordinary people do some freak-show things in their daily lives but I’m just not like that.

My husband is DEFINITELY weirder than I am…

So i can’t measure my actions against his.

I saw a group of church ladies at the zoo the other day.  They all had kids with them.  I knew them.  Sort of.

I wondered if I could ever squeeze into a group like that.  How do I know?  Its not like I can ask my family.

Although I’m sure they’d be glad to make me a list….

But they seem to have accepted me as one of their own…

I fit in pretty well.

I don’t know.  Maybe I have different values.  I have certain things I like to do with my time.

My time is absolutely precious to me.

I don’t want to waste it shopping.  Or whatever.

Gene, if you’re reading this, AVERT YOUR EYES while I give the entire world (70 people) a sneak peak of your birthday present!

It will be so fabulous I can’t even stand it.

In other news, I found these awesome glasses at work that have a little mustache hanging from them by cute little chains!

I bought them to wear to church!

And I had to drag my sweet little Boy to the doc today because apparently he’s allergic to the entire universe.  :(

One of us is exhausted.