Browsing "Family"
Jun 3, 2013 - Family    37 Comments


So, my mama came and went.

It was wonderful.

She got here late Friday night after the boys were already down.  The next morning, Boy got up at the crack of dawn and appeared by her couchside.

is that a ski






sucky sucky



singy singy



climby climby



sharing a pillow



And that pretty much sums up the whole weekend.  The boys were instantly and permanently smitten with my mom’s gentle , kind, serving spirit.  As I am.

She cleaned my kitchen.  And let me take naps.  And watched the kids while I went to church!

I actually almost didn’t make it.  First of all, Boy fell and hit his head on a box-spring.  Major goose egg.  After I calmed him down I decided that even though church was about to start, I’d still try to make it.  I had no makeup on and my hair was wet.  Figured I’d at least dry my hair and then go.  But after many many years of valuable service, my hair dryer decided to explode and shoot angry flames at my clean white dress.

I did make it to the car though, AND TO CHURCH, despite having zero gas.




And the HEATER was stuck on in the elementary school where this church meets so they had the doors open and this huge industrial fan set up to blow cool air in.  I sat RIGHT IN FRONT of that fan.  And I don’t care who you are.  If you’re all dressed up and the wind is blowing your hair around all cool-like, you totally feel like you’re in a hair commercial.  I did.

Arg! Started to draw how I felt but then decided I’m way way way too lazy tired to draw anything other than sticks but here you go anyway.

screw it



And so today, after my mom left (me a clean house) and I’d stuck the boys in separate rooms for a nap, I laid on the couch and felt intense satisfaction about all the things everywhere.

me and my mama


Boys Booboo


mama and boy


Thank you, Mama.

I love you with all my daughter-heart.

May 22, 2013 - Family    36 Comments

A Little Something to Make the Males in My Family Terribly Uncomfortable



So my sister got herself some new Boobs.


Its been fun to live vicariously through her. So many interesting issues and social interactions that arise because of that procedure.  And I TOTALLY get why she wanted them.  All the women in my family are tall and slender.  Tall slender women do not typically have large breasts.  And I did not, until I turned 23.

SAY whered you get the boobs

They came out of NOWHERE!  It was like, one day they just appeared out of EXTREMELY thin air.  (I’m not saying I had enormous boobs, but they weren’t non-existent).

I was pretty stoked.

My sister is 12 years younger than me, so eventually she grew this awesome butt, which came out of nowhere.

i like big butts and I cannot lie



But, later on, after kids, she decided to get her some Boobs.

yay breastases



Now, before anybody loses their religion over this, I did ask before I blogged.

can i can i can i


And she said “YEAH! SURE!”

shes a freak too


Its an interesting situation to get yourself into, the acquiring of new Boobs.  Especially if you don’t announce it to the universe beforehand.  And we two sisters have a lot of brothers.  That makes for weird conversation.

the discusser


(because its so me to get into “discussions”)

i am an ostrich



And the brothers….

happy brothers


confused brothers



But even weirder than that is the work situation.  Say you work full time in an office and one day you leave with nothing and then 2 days later you return with the Boobs?

A friend of ours was telling us that a woman in his office got written up for showing her Boobs off one too many times.  On one hand, that’s crazy.  You’re really flashing the entire office??

the flasher



On the other hand, you’ve just acquired these new assets and they were expensive and you suffered for them and now you feel like a million bucks.

so i picked up some new assets


looky left

looky right

pst hey you


I love my sister.

She's in High-School here

She’s in High-School here


She’s pretty cool.Hayley




Cubed Bread Makes Me Vomit a Little in My Mouth

So I have this brother…..

Actually, I have brothers coming out my ears, but theres always ONE, you know?

Several things this week have been direct reminders of what it was like to grow up with a boy of his type.


For the sake of privacy we’ll call him Joust.

Actually, that is innaccurate.


We’ll call him JOUSTY MC’JOUSTYPANTS.  He was so intense about that word for a short period of time that it has been forever branded into the fiber of my psyche.

Siegfried got a Playmobil set this week, which is a more modern version of one that JOUSTY MC’JOUSTYPANTS and I shared growing up.  So there was that reminder.

And then Boy has started getting up in my face and cramming his finger down his throat.


I think the first time he did it he actually had an itch in there somewhere, but after my ridiculously dramatic reaction, he now likes to do it just to make me mad.  Its like he’s coming in for a kiss and all of a sudden he’s poking his tonsils and gagging  an inch from my mouth.


Now, my brother never endulged in this type of behavior just to gross me out, but I guarantee that if he was choking on something, he was making direct eye-contact with yours truly.

We were usually at the table.  I remember the orage slice. I could see it all hitched up on his dangly thing.


Apparently both hands were necessarry to get it out.


And auk!  The sounds!  Why didn’t I look away??  Why didn’t I plug my ears???

And there was bacon….


You know, he blames me for his irrational fear of barfing (because of my barfing/passing out phase), but I think its because he always waited until he was in public to toss his cookies.  Like that junior high swim party where he chugged a whole hamburger and immediately jumped into a pool full of thrashing 14-year-old  who were playing sharks and minnows.  After swallowing like 5 gallons of water, it all came back up.  All the water, all the food.  And he was in the deep end flailing violently in order to stay high enough above the water to puke downwards.


And he watched and barfed helplessly as the puke was splashed around in the pool with nobody noticing.


…except the one girl who hadn’t gotten back in yet…..


But the big reminder of JOUSTY MC’JOUSTYPANTS came when I was at the beach house (not mine). I was cleaning the deck and came across a lone, soggy piece of bread.


It reminded me of him.


And I was bitter all over again.


I can’t even eat stuffing anymore, people!


And then tonight, as if it were meant to be, I walked out onto our porch and someone had returned a couple of action figures my boys had left out in the grass.

Seeing their names brought it all back, once again.  And thank you, patient stranger, for taking the time to TOTALLY MAKE MY WEEK! How awesome is that to find on your porch?!?!  I might have to go out and buy a frame for that…….

Dec 25, 2012 - Family    4 Comments

My Big Fat Texas Christmas

We really had a great weekend.  Very laid back. But then Christmas arrived and things got all cray.

First of all, Siegfried has finally caught on to this whole Christmas business.









“mokay” : as seen on


And then once we managed to drag Boy out of bed, the frenzy began.


Actually, neither one of them cared too much about what was inside the packages.  They just wanted to annihilate the paper.

And then we made Jesus a birthday cake…


…and we spent the rest of the time trying to save the toys from the toddlers.







….and then we drove to The Ranch and ate a ton of food right before a big fire broke out somewhere over yonder.


4 different fire departments showed up (mostly volunteer, one an old man and woman team who looked like they both might play the banjo….) and tried to get the blaze under control.  Our menfolk were out there too shoveling dirt on the flames.

It was good.

And just in case you missed some of my photos on various networking sites, here are a couple of pics.

Merry Christmas y’all.


NOT a morning hero….


Eatin’ beans on the deck….


Our 17-year wedding anniversary…


I love love love love love love palm trees.


Groggy Sig.


Siggys Christmas Bed.