Browsing "Artsy Things"

I do the Introspecting

Like I’ve mentioned recently, I’ve been going through a depression of sorts.  Like over the last 2 years.  Its a lot of things.  Stress.  Hormones.  Change.

It comes in waves.  Monthly ones…

I’ve been trying to decide if its mostly chemical or if there are situational issues (yes that’s a word Spellcheck!).

Oh wait, maybe its circumstantial.

Yes, yes it is.  I’m sorry spellcheck.  Forgivsies?

 

Although I tend to keep to myself, I really am a social person in that I like a few good friends.  People DO actually interest me.

people i like

 

 

But then there is always the “saying things out-loud” aspect of it….

lets play

 

Spellcheck, you are absolutely no help in this area.  I’m not sure this relationship is going to work out….

 

I’ve thought a lot about my mothering doubts.  Does anyone else ever feel like the worst mother on the planet?  I’ve wanted kids for a long long long time.  And now that they are here, I would die a million deaths for them.  But does that mean I want to be with them 24/7? No.  It does not.

hiding in the bathroom

Am I a bad mother? ….Spellcheck?

Sometimes I find myself strongly desiring things i cannot have…

apocalypse

 

 

Is the depression a contentment issue? I don’t think so.

 

But I went to a counselor a couple of weeks ago just to give it a try.  She was a very sweet woman but too practical for my illogical mind.  She liked to “boil things down to the basics”.

happy thoughts

 

 

I’m not about the basics.  I’m about the intricacies.

The basics are funny to me….

boiled down

 

 

But really, I’m doing ok.  Working out.  Taking some meds.  Thinking happy thoughts.

apocalypse

 

 

Throwing myself into my daily activities.

Like taking my offspring to the park….

me and spaz

 

…and the dollar store…..

dollar store

apocalypse

 

 

Taking “selfies” with my phone…

selfie

 

Attacking projects with intense fervor…

throwing myself into things

 

 

Have I told you about my headbands?

I occasionally design for a company called Johnny Loves Rosie.  The owner had her business in London for years and now things are happening in the States.  I am designing for her.  Here are a few I did for last fall…

rag

 

Cute no?

knot

 

Anybody want to sell these in their boutiques?  This fall will be very cool.

Something to be excited about.  apocalypse

That helps…..

I had no idea what I was going to post about an hour ago….

I just felt like vomiting some nonsense into the universe.

You’d think with all this time at home, I’d be producing some real gems on here.

Sorry.

Today was like any other day around here.

just a little

 

 

 

Constant bathroom announcements.

poo in my pants

 

 

…constant…..

fart man

 

 

Like, I can’t complete one task without an eruption of one sort or another.

wight now

 

 

Sometimes I cry alone at night.

the ubiquitous nugget

 

 

waaaaaa

 

 

 

So I’ve been trying to think some o’ them happy thoughts….

lots of cake

 

 

Thoughts that calm me down….

happy trees

 

 

Thoughts that get me going….

things that make me convulse with laughter

 

 

Hopefully we will all survive the toddler apocalypse in my house.

the zoo

 

 

And we do!

happy spaz

 

 

….mostly.

hi Im two

 

 

In artsy news, I’m finishing up The Rhino Lisa (officially named by frequent commentor, thescousewife).

Rhino Lisa

 

 

This might be one of my most favorite paintings.

blurry and crooked

 

Just need to finish the background and Lisa’s blankie.

Speaking of happy thoughts, Cathy texted me and said, “Wouldn’t it be fun to get a cute little trailer and travel to all the little Texas art/antique shows to peddle your wares?”

And I was all….

omg

 

 

And now I can hardly think of anything else.  I found a few pics that I loved.  Can’t you see me selling my weirdness out of one of these?

cutenedd incarnate

 

oh so lovely

 

blue awning

 

Anybody have one in their barn that they don’t want???

Apr 19, 2013 - Artsy Things, Childhood    24 Comments

Daddy Issues

I was looking at a recent picture of my dad. Silver-haired. Glasses.  Made me remember things.

My childhood feels like a bizarre event that happened on a different planet. First of all, I have a spotty memory, and second of all, I’ve been a lot of weird places since then.  And my whole world has changed many many times.

My mother is beautiful and stoic and sweet and quiet and quirky.  But when it comes right down to it…. I am my father’s daughter.  I’m not quite the extrovert that he is.  I’m not built for the stage like he is.  But I furrow my brow when I realize just how much of his …. essence… I inherited.

He was a “phase” kind of guy.  Golf.  Computers. Bungee jumping.

 

He found some tower in town and started bungee jumping off of it. Wow.  Sounds kind of weird now that I write it down…..

 

He was also a great speaker.  We’d walk over to Texas Tech University when I was a kid so he could jump up on the wall in the “Free Speech Area” and bust out with some preaching.

 

 

In high school my family and I were going to drive to Colorado for a family reunion   A group of my friends rode their bikes over to our house early in the morning to say goodbye to me.  They pounded on the door.  My dad greeted them with his 44 Magnum.

 

The weird part about that whole situation is that it didn’t even phase me.  Its not like he hadn’t pulled a gun on someone before.  But apparently they were terrified and remembered it years later. I guess maybe their daddys didn’t have a 44 Magnum?

Now days he’s off building an observatory somewhere or another.  Last time I talked to him he told me that he recently had a tooth he needed to get pulled. But that costs like HUNDREDS of dollars.  So instead he went out on the back-porch with a brick….

 

 

You can say a lot of things about my dad, but you can’t say he isn’t Interesting.  I am like a moth to a flame when it comes to Interesting….

My parents wedding day. 1973. My dad was 18

 

Me being ladylike

 

In other news, I added some new stuff to my etsy site.  Smaller prints, bigger prints and new prints! Click here to see.

 

 

Mar 14, 2013 - Artsy Things    47 Comments

Creating This Blog Post Made Me Nauseous

And its not even a REAL blog post.

It was going to be.  I was going to tell you all about how I’ve been a busy little bee.

But I can’t even THINK THE WORDS busy little bee, without this picture of Juaquin Phoenix (I’m dying a slow death without my spellcheck…) popping up in my head.

From Gladiator: “You’ve been a busy little bee.”

 

And that movie distracted me for a minute….

 

And then I started drawing a picture of a bee that my husband designed many many years ago…..

 

…and literally 5 minutes later, I was ready to blow chunks.

We were in the car driving through the Texas Hill Country.  Now I normally don’t get motion sickness (although I can’t watch home movies without losing my lunch).   I had to walk out of The Constant Gardener because I thought I was going to die. (So needless to say I haven’t seen The Blair Witch Project). But I’m usually FINE in the car…as long as I’m not trying to draw…?

Anyway, I’ll just give you the cliff notes of what I’ve been doing lately.

Uhhhhhhh…….What have I been doing?

Well we DID just drive back from San Angelo, Texas.  Met some family there and had a grand 24 hours.  I have to say though, that driving in the car with two little kids isn’t NEARLY as enjoyable as driving all by myself forever and ever.

On Sunday I drove into Georgetown, which is right outside Austin (about 2 hours from here).  I drove all by myself and it was HEAVEN.

There is a photographer there who agreed to photograph my paintings.  Her name is Kelly Cameron and I was excited to meet her.  Aside from being a creative person, she is also an actress.  And I like the intense, fast-talkers.  I enjoy being around a person who can really act things out.  And boy did she not dissapoint.  I had more fun watching her talk….

Wow. Horrific depiction. I lost my stylus and my back-up just doesn’t quite cut it. Lets see if I can wrassle up a real picture….

 

Here we go.  This one is better….

Go see her web-site here.  She is awesome!

Anyway, she photographed my stuff (for future print and website use!) and then took a few “artist bio” pics of me that I wish I had worn “funner” clothes for!!

Here are two (behold the gray hairs!).  Which one should I use???

 

 

I Talk About Boobs and Pot

Sometimes The Dark Knight is all…

 

And I’m like…

 

How do you REMEMBER that far back??

I partially blame my lack of childhood memories on the homeschool.  I have no idea how old I was in 4th grade.  I don’t remember turning 8. Nothing ever changed.  No new teacher. No new friends.  Nada.  There were no major landmarks in there (which can be a good thing sometimes…).

I do have a few stand-out memories.  Like the first time I saw boobs on TV.

We were only allowed to watch one show:

 

Sesame Street.

Occasionally Mr. Rogers or Reading Rainbow.  But  “adult”  TV started right after Reading Rainbow, and as soon as my mom heard the I Dream of Jeannie intro music, there she was, hitting the off-switch.  I still haven’t seen an episode of I Dream of Jeannie, but I can only assume its filled with fornication and genocide.

One evening, my father rented a movie.  Because it had boobs in it, I even remember the name: They Call Me Bruce (as in Bruce Lee).

So there we were, watching a Kung Fu comedy.  Me, my brother, and my dad.  Quite suddenly and unexpectedly, two things happened at once.

1- Boobs appeared on the screen

2- My mom walked around the corner.

 

I remember the movie.

I remember the boobs.

I remember the looks on everyones faces.

 

But I remember very little else .

And even though there are more memories from my teenage years, some really crucial information is missing.  Big, memorable events have been wiped from my brain.

My sister experiences this phenomenon every time I see her.

 

But that issue is at least 75% environmental.

Its because of The Pot Years.

Most people have a couple of wild years in there.  I wasn’t a “partier”.  Never drank.  I just smoked the pot.  Which obliterated my remaining ability to retain memories.  And wasted my time.  I spent the better part of five years digging through my purse…. I think…..

 

If you’ve ever searched for anything while high, you know.

I would plunge my arm into the depths of my purse…..

 

….and I would dig and dig and dig and dig and dig and dig and dig and dig….

 

 

…and dig and dig and dig and dig and dig and dig and dig and dig and dig and dig and dig and dig…

 

…and dig and dig and dig and dig and dig…. and then realize I not only had NO IDEA what I was digging for or how long I’d been digging.  Had it been more than 20 minutes?

 

I’d stare hard into my bag, trying to figure out what it was I was looking for.

What did I want?

Why was I here?

How long had I been staring into my purse?

All I was doing was groping various objects in my bag with no plan or purpose.

 

And, well, that was just fine.

 

But soon enough I realized that I was losing my mind, literally, and so I grew up.  You know, pretty much…..

Now, 17 years later, my only brain-eaters are my children.

And my mind is in worse shape than it ever was before.

Lord help me.

 

PS- still no working spellcheck.

Why?

Why?

Why?