Archive from May, 2013

I wasn’t even going to post today….

Too busy thinking about the fact that Siegfried bent my entire toenail backwards with his big, fat tennis shoe.  My toenail is all purple and swollen and I’m being an ENORMOUS wuss about it.

So I wasn’t going to post, but then something weird happened and the boys started playing by themselves and so I decided to draw my big happy feelings (about events coming up in the near future…).

Right this minute

Right this minute

 

So its been a while since I’ve had some biggies to look forward to in life.  I look forward to little things every day, but after a long dry-spell, I have some biggies coming up.

For starters, my Mama is coming tomorrow!  I feel like this! Yee haw!!!

YEHAAA

 

She has no idea how much work I have planned for her.  Really I’m just hoping she’ll give me some stern looks and tell me to go clean my room.

So that’s this weekend.

Then in June I’ll be going to visit my Aunt and Uncle in California.  And by “visit”, I mean they are letting me come crash in their guestroom and slink around the town by myself in a trench-coat so I can stare at people and they wont talk to me.

Thank you, Rick and Marla, for giving me the gift of this alone time!  In fact, I am so exited about it that not even a flip can do my feelings justice.  More like a flaming ball of happy!!!!

Happy Blast

 

And then in July I might be going to India for work.  I’m “flipping” excited about that trip.

I do flips

 

ta da

 

I’ve realized that most of my adult life I’ve traveled for work.  I LOVE traveling.  I LOVE being stuck in an airport by myself.  People watching.  Not having to interact.  Knowing that all I have to do is catch a plane.  Its very relaxing for me. I know it has the exact opposite affect on most people, but I love it.

A little big something to look forward to in life.

Sometimes I Am Confused. The Rest of the Time, I’m Just an Idiot

The other morning I was a Confused Idiot….

I actually enjoy some forms of momentary confusion.  Sometimes I’ll try to sleep sideways on the bed so that if I wake up, the light from the doorway will be in a weird spot and I wont know where I am.  I LOVE that feeling!

Never really works when I do it on purpose, though.  In High school I used to rearrange my room just to experience some night-time confusion and it seemed to work better when I was young and impressionable.

 

ANYWAY, Boy has been getting up REALLY early.  Sometimes as early as 4-4:30.  Ugh.

The other morning he got up and sat on the ottoman watching cartoons and sucking on his blanket.  I sat there, bleary-eyed, drinking my coffee.

bleary

 

 

Suddenly, my phone started ringing.  My phone never rings. And if it does, I NEVER EVER answer it.

I was shocked and frightened and irritated by the noise.

irritation

 

 

And then I saw who it was.

why are you calling me

 

 

And I was like What the heck??

Was he calling me in his sleep??

I realized he must have left his phone somewhere and somebody probably picked it up.  But its one of those crappy old pre-paid flip-phones (he doesn’t believe in phone usage). So who on earth would bother to track down its owner?

I decided, after much sluggish debate, to answer it.

hello

 

“HALLO….”

It was a kid on the other end.  My husband must have left it at the park.

The kid started babbling something completely incoherent.

Great. A nice, productive conversation at 5 in the morning.

are you being supervised young child

 

I figured I should talk to an adult.

But then, a bunch of things happened at once.

I looked up, and the kid on the phone said the exact same thing that MY OWN KID was saying….

oh good grief

 

uh duhhhhhh

 

duuhhhhhhh

 

hey you sounds yung

 

mommy der

 

who tell you my number

 

WHO LET ME PROCREATE!?!?!?

Good grief, Heather!

May 22, 2013 - Family    36 Comments

A Little Something to Make the Males in My Family Terribly Uncomfortable

waaa

 

So my sister got herself some new Boobs.

GASP!

Its been fun to live vicariously through her. So many interesting issues and social interactions that arise because of that procedure.  And I TOTALLY get why she wanted them.  All the women in my family are tall and slender.  Tall slender women do not typically have large breasts.  And I did not, until I turned 23.

SAY whered you get the boobs

They came out of NOWHERE!  It was like, one day they just appeared out of EXTREMELY thin air.  (I’m not saying I had enormous boobs, but they weren’t non-existent).

I was pretty stoked.

My sister is 12 years younger than me, so eventually she grew this awesome butt, which came out of nowhere.

i like big butts and I cannot lie

 

 

But, later on, after kids, she decided to get her some Boobs.

yay breastases

 

 

Now, before anybody loses their religion over this, I did ask before I blogged.

can i can i can i

 

And she said “YEAH! SURE!”

shes a freak too

 

Its an interesting situation to get yourself into, the acquiring of new Boobs.  Especially if you don’t announce it to the universe beforehand.  And we two sisters have a lot of brothers.  That makes for weird conversation.

the discusser

 

(because its so me to get into “discussions”)

i am an ostrich

 

 

And the brothers….

happy brothers

 

confused brothers

 

 

But even weirder than that is the work situation.  Say you work full time in an office and one day you leave with nothing and then 2 days later you return with the Boobs?

A friend of ours was telling us that a woman in his office got written up for showing her Boobs off one too many times.  On one hand, that’s crazy.  You’re really flashing the entire office??

the flasher

 

 

On the other hand, you’ve just acquired these new assets and they were expensive and you suffered for them and now you feel like a million bucks.

so i picked up some new assets

 

looky left

looky right

pst hey you

 

I love my sister.

She's in High-School here

She’s in High-School here

 

She’s pretty cool.Hayley

 

 

 

I Drive Home From Work and Take a Detour Through Nirvana

And not the band.

I understand that they were the “pioneers of grunge” and whatever, and YES I have written a post about Kurt Cobain (here), but I was never a huge fan.

Music either does it for me or it doesn’t.  And if it really, REALLY doesn’t, then I can’t  tolerate the sound entering my aural tract. I’d rather listen to the grinding and gnashing of teeth. Which is basically what I hear anyway….

Anyway, last night I left work pretty late.  I haven’t been sleeping well and my appetite is a little off this week, so by 10:30 last night, I was beside myself.  Tired.  Loopy.

I got in the car to drive home and all the streets were empty.  I had my windows rolled down when I got on the highway and man it felt good.

cruisin

 

 

It started giving me the happys.

fluffy windy

 

 

I decided to let my hair down…

pulling my hair

 

 

Holy cow it felt so good.

fluffy fluffy hair

 

 

Although if we’re talking “reality” here, I was looking fairly nappy after an intense day.

reality

 

 

But my serotonin levels were rising.  I could tell.

Then…

Suddenly….

my song

 

I heard a familiar noise…..

I could NOT believe my ears!

It was one of those songs that I LOVE but that they NEVER play on the radio!

NO.WAY.

 

 

What are the odds?!?!?!?!?

I can’t even tell you!!!!!

And then, i was hit with a serotonin blast so huge that I almost lost my tiny little mind!

standing on top of the world

 

And all the way home, the wind blew my enormous wad of hair, and I blasted that song and tried to decide if I had enough gas to drive around the world at least one time and listen to that song over and over and over and over!

shazaam

 

And, well…. that was fun.

I do the Introspecting

Like I’ve mentioned recently, I’ve been going through a depression of sorts.  Like over the last 2 years.  Its a lot of things.  Stress.  Hormones.  Change.

It comes in waves.  Monthly ones…

I’ve been trying to decide if its mostly chemical or if there are situational issues (yes that’s a word Spellcheck!).

Oh wait, maybe its circumstantial.

Yes, yes it is.  I’m sorry spellcheck.  Forgivsies?

 

Although I tend to keep to myself, I really am a social person in that I like a few good friends.  People DO actually interest me.

people i like

 

 

But then there is always the “saying things out-loud” aspect of it….

lets play

 

Spellcheck, you are absolutely no help in this area.  I’m not sure this relationship is going to work out….

 

I’ve thought a lot about my mothering doubts.  Does anyone else ever feel like the worst mother on the planet?  I’ve wanted kids for a long long long time.  And now that they are here, I would die a million deaths for them.  But does that mean I want to be with them 24/7? No.  It does not.

hiding in the bathroom

Am I a bad mother? ….Spellcheck?

Sometimes I find myself strongly desiring things i cannot have…

apocalypse

 

 

Is the depression a contentment issue? I don’t think so.

 

But I went to a counselor a couple of weeks ago just to give it a try.  She was a very sweet woman but too practical for my illogical mind.  She liked to “boil things down to the basics”.

happy thoughts

 

 

I’m not about the basics.  I’m about the intricacies.

The basics are funny to me….

boiled down

 

 

But really, I’m doing ok.  Working out.  Taking some meds.  Thinking happy thoughts.

apocalypse

 

 

Throwing myself into my daily activities.

Like taking my offspring to the park….

me and spaz

 

…and the dollar store…..

dollar store

apocalypse

 

 

Taking “selfies” with my phone…

selfie

 

Attacking projects with intense fervor…

throwing myself into things

 

 

Have I told you about my headbands?

I occasionally design for a company called Johnny Loves Rosie.  The owner had her business in London for years and now things are happening in the States.  I am designing for her.  Here are a few I did for last fall…

rag

 

Cute no?

knot

 

Anybody want to sell these in their boutiques?  This fall will be very cool.

Something to be excited about.  apocalypse

That helps…..

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