The other morning I was a Confused Idiot….
I actually enjoy some forms of momentary confusion. Sometimes I’ll try to sleep sideways on the bed so that if I wake up, the light from the doorway will be in a weird spot and I wont know where I am. I LOVE that feeling!
Never really works when I do it on purpose, though. In High school I used to rearrange my room just to experience some night-time confusion and it seemed to work better when I was young and impressionable.
ANYWAY, Boy has been getting up REALLY early. Sometimes as early as 4-4:30. Ugh.
The other morning he got up and sat on the ottoman watching cartoons and sucking on his blanket. I sat there, bleary-eyed, drinking my coffee.
Suddenly, my phone started ringing. My phone never rings. And if it does, I NEVER EVER answer it.
I was shocked and frightened and irritated by the noise.
And then I saw who it was.
And I was like What the heck??
Was he calling me in his sleep??
I realized he must have left his phone somewhere and somebody probably picked it up. But its one of those crappy old pre-paid flip-phones (he doesn’t believe in phone usage). So who on earth would bother to track down its owner?
I decided, after much sluggish debate, to answer it.
It was a kid on the other end. My husband must have left it at the park.
The kid started babbling something completely incoherent.
Great. A nice, productive conversation at 5 in the morning.
I figured I should talk to an adult.
But then, a bunch of things happened at once.
I looked up, and the kid on the phone said the exact same thing that MY OWN KID was saying….
WHO LET ME PROCREATE!?!?!?
Good grief, Heather!